On a broken heart and judgement

Puhh, probably one of the toughest nights in a long time. It is 3:33 am, I slept for maybe 3 hours on and off and cant stay in bed anymore because my thoughts and my heart beat go crazy, can’t eat either – so yes, it’s that bad! Being in love with somebody that just broke up is a hard thing to take; so difficult to fous on anything else than why this is so wrong.

The last 2-3 month, my life was like in a pink cloud. I was smiling the whole day, having happy thoughts, nice conversations and this good feeling of „that is the right thing“ . I love waking up and my hand finding his, waking up together at 5 am, having a coffee and starting relaxed into the week. I love his positive way of thinking and that everything will be alright at the end, I admire his patience when being concerned and asking stupid questions. He likes what I cook and is happy like a small boy about cake in the house. Talking to him opens a whole new world of thoughts and shows me that we are all humans, that we’re all going along our own paths and that we can all be happy. He made me laugh hardly about „orangutans“ and „millepeds“ and just small little stories. I like being around him, just listening to his stories and his work, his thoughts and dreams and just sharing… life. I felt appreciated and attractive without any doubt and his reasurance that I can do things at work and in sport well and to the expectations because I am good at what I am doing. I like that he’s polite and knows how to act, he called me madam and honey and blue in such a warm tone and just seeing him sitting in bed drinking coffee is a nice thought. I love his trouble of getting up and just sliding back down laying in bed. Badly in love but seemingly hopeless because of other peoples‘ opinions and talkings. What a world to be in!

We all have our dificulties in life, but please, people, dont mind your own buisness and don’t judge. I know it’s damn easy to judge, but, you should consider to that with your judging and talking badly, you can do more harm than you think. Be openminded and question things you hear and make up your own mind. Otherwise you’re just a follower into whatever direction people want to manipulate you into.


Crossing the ocean and more

This years big holidays will be spend in California. The journey started Wed 25th of July. After I went out of place, was stuck in the elevator, went to Nørrport station, had to switch Metro two times I finally arrived Kaastrup Lufthavn. The plane to Amsterdam left in time (6 am, and I always will tell myself again that I hate early day flights). Next flight went from Amsterdam to Seattle: 10 yours of sleep with breaks every 2 hours to eat and be awake for 5 more minutes to fall back into dreams again. After 4 hours stay at Seattle airport +1.5 extra hours due to a non functioning plane, I finally arrived in San Jose. I arrived in San Jose at around 8 pm, was picked up at the airport (very very nice!), brought to the hotel and then we went for some food. Wednesday finally ended at midnight Californian time.

I slept like a baby through the whole night until 9 am – I hate alarm clocks when I am on holidays. However, after a nice breakfast we went to a morning BJJ class ant Caiotera BJJ Academy. I was still a bit tired and it was quite warm in the gym but to roll a bit around on the mat was definatelly a good option. After an amazing smoothing from Jamba Juice and a small rest, we went to a competition class at 3 pm – me sitting out watching what was going on, or at least I tried to follow. The evening class started at 6 pm and even though my body told me to stay home and relax my head said I should go and do something good for myself. Training was nice, but very very hot; people were nice and I had some challenging sparring rounds. We closed the night with a nice Sushi dinner 🙂

Friday morning started early. We left the hotel room, washed the white gis and went further south to Giloy outlet shopping. Big complex and far too much stuff to buy. 4 hours of shopping followed by a nice cold iced coffee we went further down to the coastal highway 1, but had to turn back to the highway 101 because of hotel rooms offers min 229 $. We finally found a nice and big room in Solidad along the road around 9 pm. – about time to rest to go on tomorrow 🙂

Shetland Islands (3/3) – South Mainland

Day three started slowly with a long breakfast in front of a huge window of the hostel dining room enjoying the sun. However, a message from the ferry reminded us that our ferry leaves at 5.30 pm from Lerwick already. So we hurried up to finish breakfast and moved on southwards on the A970. After about 1.5 hours and crossing the landing street of Sumburgh airport we arrived at Sumburgh lighthouse.

The place was crowded by cars and that was also understandable: The cliffs were once more amazing and they harboured thousands of birds including PUFFINS! We spend about two hours watching at the cute birds, taking hundreds of pictures (as all the other tourists as well) and enjoyed the phenomenon of puffins trying to land on the cliffs. Next to the huge amount of puffins there were also plenty of Kittiwakes, herring gulls, common guls, Guillemots, Cormorants, Storm petrels, Black guillemots and also Arctic skuas (the bastards that actually eat small cute puffins). As a short summary: if you’re interested in rare and amazing birds then the south of the Shetland Islands is your palce to go.

After all the driving the petrol in the car went low, but we were lucky to find a small open petrol station in the southern part and everything became good. After that we went to a nice spot in Boddam, sat down on the water, enjoyed our last food for lunch and had some quite minutes resting. However we still had some time left until the ferry departed and so we decided to visit Scalloway Castle in Scalloway.

All the way going up to the hight of Lerwick and turning left to Scalloway, passing another hill and arriving in a very nice valley. The castle was open and we had a quick look into it. It was bigger than the castle the day before, however, far not as exciting. Sometimes castles are just castles 😉 Back to Lerwick we visited a small rather unpleasant place to get our last coffee and hot chocolates at the Shetlands (and afterwards all or clothes were smelling like fried potato chips…).

Or last adventure of the day was to find a open petrol station. This particular Monday was a holiday and the most obvious small petrol station in the city was closed. The owner, however, opened for two minutes and we got to fill up the car. Unfortunatelly as we finnished the petrol level was still not full, we tried it again, but the station was closed again. That meant that we had to find another station as fast as possible in order not to miss the ferry. Going up hill out of the city again we found another petrol station and after two attempts the tank was finally full. Hurrying back to the ferry the car had to fit into the smalling parking slot you’ve ever seen. But, my friend perfectly managed even though it was hard to come out of the car again. Not our problem at the end.

Entering the ferry all of us hoped that the crossing will be better and faster then the first part. And indeed it went much better because the sea was absolutely calm that night. We even had some musical entertainment because some of the artists of the folk festival went with the same ferry back to Scotland. The only drawback was that the security personell got our Whisky we bought to make the crossing more pleasant for ourselfs. But luckyly we got the bottle back in the morning. Finally we arrived sunny and warm Aberdeen at 6:45 in the morning.

Shetland Island (2/3) – The North Isles

Our second day started early! We got up around 8, packed our stuff together, had a small bite inbetween and half an hour later we were on our way to the ferry in Toft going to Ulsta on the island Yell. The weather was promissing, it was not cold anymore and not as grey as the day before. However, sometimes it’s worth to look back and so it appeared that we drove gen ferry, looked back and saw a beautiful rainbow right behind us!

We catched the ferry in Toft at 9:40. Got a nice crossing, proceeded straight through Yell to the next ferry from Gutcher to Belmont on the island Unst. There we found a small nice cafe in Haroldswick at Unst Boat Haven. The owner was frensh, but worked in Spain for some time. My spanish friends were very enthusiastic about that and we’ve got a nice and welcoming conversation + some freshly made onion soup for free. After that small breack we went up further north to the Hermanness National Nature Reserve at the very top of the island. Finally we got some fresh air walking along the path in the reserve up hill. We saw plenty of birds, far away and also pretty close! The most common ones were the Storm petrel and, surprisingly the great skua! Walking through the more or less monotonious heathland landscape wasn’t too much fun but the path ended at the west coast and released an amazing view! Thousands of Gannets and several kinds of gulls were flying around the cost (and having trouble with the wind)! We enjoyed the landscape for some time, took plenty of pictures and shared some chocolate! However, the biggest highlight was the first small Puffin further along the coast! He was starring down the cliff not sure if he/she should fly or not, waddeling around and just looking cute. Amazing!

Due to the strong and cold wind we decided to go back to the car and to proceed our journey back to the south. We found a nice spot to eat close to Baltasound. But it was so cold and windy that we enjoyed the view over the water from inside the car! Afterwards we checked the ferry times and had another adventure in the Muness Castle in the south of the island. Lamps were provided to discover the basement of the castle and upstairs a big hall and a chimney were „open-air“.

All of us were very tired and especially the sunny moments invited for a small rest. However, we didn’t really had so much time to explore the Shetlands and so we decided to move on. The Ferry brought us back to Gutcher, there we crossed Yell again finally ending in Toft. The day had passed very fast and it was about time to find a place to stay for the night. Driving through a wonderful landscape from Voe to Walls, no shop was open and no accomodation was anywhere on the street and… it was Sunday. No chance to find something at the west coast of the mainland and so we decided to go back to Lerwick and stay in the hostel. Luckily they had 3 free beds!

After a shopping session in Tesco, we cooked a good pasta-dinner in the industrial hostel kitchen and enjoyed a good red wine next to it. Afterwards we went on to the Lounge club in the city; accompanied by a friendlich canadian guy called Rocky. His modern technique and the invention of GPS saved us from getting lost in town! Thanks for that! Some live music welcomed us in that pub. „Blue-lamp-style“ traditional scottish folk music was played in a very cosy environment. But it was late already, all of us were tired and so we left after one beer already. Arriving in the hostel the bed was shouting after us and the night stoped early 🙂

Shetland Islands (1/3) – North Mainland

A very spontaneous trip brought me with two Spanish friends to the Shetland Islands. We talked about it on Thursday at lunch time and went there Friday night. The ferry went from Aberdeen to Lerwick; terrible crossing for me even though the sea was calm… At least that’s what people told us. Now I know what it means to be sea sick and it really feels unpleasant not to be able to control your body. However, we arrived Lerwick with 3.5 hourse delay at 10:15.

Out of the ferry we luckily got (maybe the last) car hire of the day and then we went up north. Crossing Voe and Brae and stranding in Hillswick at a dead end street with a view at the amazing cliffs. Unfortunatelly through a dark grey cloud of rain. From there trying to find the way through the landscape, we went further into the direction of Eshaness, making a small stop at our wikwam campside having a coffee and a peace of cake and further to the lighthouse of Eshaness. It was so windy and the weather changed from snow storm to sunshine within minutes. Finally we had a late lunch in the car. Afterwards we went for a walk along the coastal cliffs in the wind and with lots of sunshine. It was amazing looking at the cliffs and the water. And the small Ouster catchers were a senstion for themselfs eventhough a bit too shy to take a proper picture.

Even though we were pretty tired or will for more adventures didnt stop and we went further east again to see some more exciting spots of the island. We drove a small streat going up into the direction of Heylor, seeing the countryside, passing a great lake on one side and hills with sheep on the other side. At a small crossing to our left was a monument of a sheep or cow or something similar and we even saw brown pigs with long hair! The first time in my life! Very interesting was also the red telephone in the middle of nowhere in the country side. Always a surprise. Finally we arrived our final destiantion Ollaberry, but we couldnt find the sensation in that village. So we decided to go even further north, missing the small street going up to „Ronies Hill“ and found ourselfs in the very top north in Isbister. Plenty of sheep called our attention and a funny video made our day.

On the way back to the wikwam camp we found the small road going up to the famous hill. Talking about the „Puffin king“ (we still hadn’t seen a single Puffin bird by then) we drove up the street into a grey cloud of rain and finally snow. Without getting out of the car we went down the hill and back to move into our home for the next night. First all of us had a shower, two ended up with a half warm half cold shower, not very satisfied, but at least clean with a nice dinner including toasted bread at the end! We realized surprisingly that the sun was not going down before 10 pm and even though it was a stressfull and cold day, all of us seemed to be happy and satisfied.

Cognition of a weekend

Last weekend, I competed in the nordic open championship in Stockholm. It’s always exciting before hand and ther nervosity rises until the day of fight comes. Doubts about skills rise you start asking yourself if you can really do it. The first match is always the worst because the body is still fresh, adrenaline is going through and time goes slowly. In my case, I was waiting for some hours until I warmed up and finally, as I went back to the competition area therer was a call with my name and if I dont show up now, then I am disqualified – that’s so… *arg*. However, I made it, I got my first fight after some missunderstandings and won 🙂 The girl seemed to be relatively new and did more mistakes than I did – very nice for the first fight – I was very tired after the five minutes fight though. I got two take downs, passed her guard, went and went to the back! So much stuff in one fight! The second was more difficult: the girl did a take-down and I was flying through the air. The good thing about being taken down is that I was on the bottom and could do what I am used to. I closed my guard, waited a bit, tried a sweep, and ended on top somehow. The remaining 4 minutes I was trying to pass her half-guard but my foot was trapped – very very very tight. At the end, she almost swept me because I thought I have to go out of here to score points to win. We had the same amount of points and because I was on top most of the time, I won that fight too. The last fight was very weird. The girl pulled open guard, I went to a head control, but she managed to come out, I had to pass again and she did a choke I’ve not seen before – real surpirse 🙂 But fine, I learned a lot from that move and especially about what to take care of the next time!

Sunday went strange. I didnt really feel in fightling mood but I told myself that I have to win at least the first fight. I went there to compete against a small polish girl – very skilled and landed in her closed guard and she attacked my arms for about 3-4 minutes. Somehow I could manage to come out of  that, passed her guard and mounted. My weight probably safed me, but that’s the deal of the absolute class. The next fight was against a smaller girl as well. She pulled guard, I landed in half-guard, but she was so strong and technical and so full of will to win, she got me back sitting up and into a triangle. I have no idea how it happened and I didnt feel like fighting or anything. Very strange situation. However, I’ve learned that as long as I really want to win, I will win and this fact translated to life – as long as I want to achieve a goal for myself, I will succeed no matter how difficult it will be. It was a very important experience for myself even though I hate losing, I got something out of it that hopefully helps me in the future: 1) never compete if I dont really want to win 2) I can achieve everything 😀

From discoveries and relieves

This week, non common events piled up and the week is not even over yet… Sunday, I became heavily sick, feverish and totally screwed. However, I had to go to work on Monday morning because I promissed to show up to start up the IRMS (mass spectrometers are so so fancy!) – damn! The first discovery that morning was my special glassware that was accidentally burned too hot – lets say about 600 degrees too much. That hurt! This day I learned that glass is a fluid – at least some lessons learned 😉 Unbelievable, but true: I skipped the BJJ training that night. I was too weak :/

Tuesday morning the next shock: there was a power shut down for about an hour in the morning. I really like my work, but sometimes it’s hard to work with sensitive and expensive IRMSs 😉 Emergency shut-off while my very important samples were running. And I stayed late on Monday evening to start up everything for the next two days – screwed!!! In the night, I went to bed early, got hooked to another Tatort Muenster and fall into a chat with a friend that’s currently in Brazil – for about 2 hours. Interesting, but very late at the end. So no more plans about going to bed early.

Wednesday – nothing burned! The day went okay – wow! But I couldnt get a hold on my mother. I called her and her boyfriend like 1000 times but only the mailbox liked to talk to me… My head was working, time went so amazingly, all people I called were’nt available and and and argh… After talking, I became calmer – luckily!

Thursday was the day to say good buy to my very good Spanish friend. She had to take the decision of staying in DK or going back home to Spain. So, she went for various good reasons. Still sad, but friendships survive distance – I am very positive! I left work around lunch time, went to the airport, and she was late (as always). But we got some more minutes to talk a bit and say good buy until we meet again. Hard but necessary. What comes next? And, finally, I got an e-mail from my mum’s boyfriend. They are okay, he gave me the new number and I called. Relieved!

To the future: Friday must become a very efficient work day – too much to do and no end point to see. But I made a plan. Hope to find a good place to sit down, just to do it and to get the inspiration to start the first sentences of my thesis! It’s going to be real 🙂