Yesterday, a friend reminded me of something very important… our daily live is too public… due to facebook and similar kinds of connection networks our lives become public. We want people to share our lives and be part of it, but as soon as something goes wrong, how can we disconnect from the public again??? It’s almost impossible! There are messages, comments, pictures… everything online and visible. But what if at one point, we want to have our privacy back? Disconnect from everything and just be on ourselfes? But a “normal call” is so old-fashioned and people are spread all over the world that it seems that we really need soicial networks, otherwise our lives wouldnt function anymore… But is that right??? I hope not! Is it possible to go a step back, communicate via a phone call whenever we have an idea, a problem, any kind of issue… Can we force ourselves to become disconnected again in order to protect our privacy? I really hope so! It’s really amazing!
But what happened: a very good friend of mine broke up with his boyfriend (the 20th time, but I hope this time it was the final one). She is feeling horrible and that’s so normal. However, she is so concerned that he will write something stupid on a social platform on all her friends will choose his side. Really really weird… but I totally see the problem. But I dont see the thing that friends have to choose a side. It isnt our issue that they decided to finish the relationship, why do we have to say we like one person more than the other? Of course that can be the case and it normally is, but why do we have to state it and how do we fall in disresprect if we dont want to choose a side. Whyd do we/ or better why do I have to say who I like more (eventhough I am definatelly at one side)? It feels wrong because I am not part of that relationship. Of course if she needs support and want me next to her… no problem, I would do it within seconds if there would be teleporters around. But please, I dont want to be involved in taking decisions that are not mine. I know… it is very difficult to take the final step and finish a relationship that lasted over years, but… its only your responsibility and of course I will be there, next to you whenever you need me and independent on the decision you took!
The shock of the day was the message that a marriage of a friend and colleague might break down… I know that it’s no guaranty to be together forever when you’re married… but in my head it’s a big thing to try even harder not to break up but to stay and work for it. Of course at one point it is enough to try more and more, you have to take the decision to stop it and get and give the possibility to be happy again. Just a shock in the first inistance… at it’s shortly before christmas and ideally we should sit happily around a table, eat cookies, lighten candles and be happy chatting around. Stupid head that makes up naive pictures of maybe-to-be-ideal-situations.
So… where is this going to be? Will I celebrate christmas in Denmark with my friends that just came out of smashed relatinships? Would be a new experience! A very new and hopefully interesting one and even though I am not happy for them, I really hope that both of them will be able to go on in their lives as happy persons and find their peace with themselves and their surroundings. (It cannot be healthy to be angry, sad, mad or whatever else all the time, there must be a way out of the mess into something new and nice!)
Goodby public, cheers privacy!
Hej there,
really sounds like a strange and weird fourth advent. But you are right: it seems to be difficult to step back from the public. Especially if you want to be alone for some time, because “friends” will realize that and, in the first days, might try to contact you suddenly to ask what’s wrong.
I hope that you will celebrate a nice and cosy christmas surrounded by your close friends – if not, you know that my door is open all the time =)